Today I’ll be discussing my experiences working as a bar-back at Boat Quay. The bar I worked was a bespoke bar, where we create drinks to suit our customer’s mood and preferences. This is why active listening and getting as much information as possible from short interactions is vital in our trade to ensure our customers get drinks they genuinely enjoy. I worked with a man named Sim, who always had the mentality of treating our customers as not just our guests, but also our friends. It is through observing him that I mastered the art of communication with strangers.
Our bar was called Ah Sam’s Cold Drink Stall. It was a high-class, yet casual place oozing with old-school Singaporean charm. Sim utilized the bespoke bar culture and was well aware of the expectations of him to be able to listen to customer’s stories patiently without judging. All the customer interactions are also a product of the several decades of experience Sim has under his belt, which helped train him on how to approach or treat different people.
Even on the busiest of Fridays, Sim would always greet every new guest with a smile, and turn his body towards them, giving a personalized welcome based on their attire or mannerisms, all without losing focus on creating their cocktails. He genuinely puts in effort to making enjoyable conversations, listening intently to their every word. Instead of just giving simple short answers, he instead chooses to ask them more about specific points in their story, and makes total strangers feel like old friends.
He also adjusts his mannerisms and tone with different kinds of people. With our usual Singaporean crowd, he would switch to Singlish and speak animatedly, putting new customers at ease. He made full use of his experiences growing up in developing Singapore to portray himself as a friendly neighborhood coffeeshop uncle, and he frequently uses this friendly persona to easily befriend local customers. He even shaped his attire to fit this image, by dressing more down-to-earth and approachable, instead of wearing fancy suits. His Singaporean upbringing also raised him to treat all his customers like family, and he had no problems turning customers into regular customers because of their trust in him, and his reliable listening ear.
As a male bartender, Sim also has a reputation of being a man’s man, and he uses this to create a brotherly bond with his customers, by offering them free shots or excitedly telling them in hushed tones about the latest Thai disco. It’s very common for him to be in a heated discussion with customers about their favourite female celebrities, and men always go to him whenever something goes wrong in their relationship, because Sim will always listen to the situation patiently, and explain to them how they should proceed to make amends or help them understand where they went wrong.
In contrast, when dealing with female customers, Sim draws more on his empathetic side, and approaches them very differently. He tends to lower his voice, keeping eye contact, and slows down his speech, listening to their full stories without interrupting with his personal opinions. He also uses a lot more hand gestures and is much more descriptive when recommending drinks to them, asking them about what they’re feeling and their likes and dislikes to get a better gauge on how to make a drink they will genuinely enjoy.
To conclude, Sim is a versatile, tactful and endearing man who I have a great deal of respect and admiration for. I have learnt many communication techniques from him, and I hope to someday be as good a listener as he is.
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